I actually had to think hard for my real dream and I don't know if what I am about to share is it or not. I have a lot of wants, like places I want to travel to and things I want to experience, but are those THE dream? I don't think so. I've always wanted to contribute in a big way to whatever it is I am doing, and I believe God has made me capable of doing that.
Currently, I am awaiting an appointment to go see a specialist where there is a remote chance I have cancer in my thyroid. I also recently changed jobs where I left a safe environment with lots of close relationships and moved to one where everyone is in a silo and they do not get along well. So, before I can get there I have to believe I deserve it, that I am capable of it. Sometimes life can beat you down if you let it and I am going through a phase of that right now.
Can I dream right now? I want to break free of this attack and pursue writing with a passion. But by the time the day ends I am too tired to dream and actually my sleep is where I experience most of my attack in the form of strange and negative dreams.
I have had this dream of being a writer for as long as I can remember but I feared it would end up in the pile of other dreams I had as a child - being a wrestler, baseball player or lawyer. My life has taught me that what I want to do, where I end up, and where God may want me are three mostly mutually exclusive concepts. Each position even though I fell into them has provided its own rewards and has added to a unique skill set that has me acknowledging that God may take me somewhere I could not even have imagined.
My other dream is to be free of these doubts, to feel more confident and in charge of my destiny, to have a total confidence and zest for life, a real carpe diem kind of guy.
- T
I pray that the tide of your physical dreams would turn ... it's so tru that the enemy will attack us when we're asleep... dwell in HIS promices..... I will be praying as you journey in communion with Christ that you can, through no/ or rather surpassing ability of your own...... , that God will left you out of the place yo uare in, and enable you to fly with the lessons and richness of your past surrendered and now being a rainbow if wisdom as Christ's courage and freedom coat your journey of newness...... may you have the revival of true dreams in HIM!
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